To Our Separate Ways
by Aki no Usagi
Summary: [ShouRitsu] [Aged-Up AU] [Post-Break Up] Had they really been in different paths all along? Ritsu wanted to believe in him, that is if he had a choice at all.


**First attempt in ShouRitsu fic!**

**This is a story of Shou and Ritsu who had been going out from around high school to becoming adults, ignoring the problem between them. A hopeless love story. Please enjoy~**

* * *

"Hey, Otouto-kun."

Ritsu raised his head from the familiar nickname. Teruki, the blond man sitting in front of him was one of the few friends his brother had that's still in contact with him after graduating high school. It was actually quite awesome that they could be friends in the first place. He didn't know the detail to their first meeting and had decided not to dig it. He had a feeling that it wouldn't be a pleasant story. The Teruki he knew is a confident guy, to the point of a little narcissistic, but nonetheless a gentle person that tries to be humble. Surrounded by all kind of weird people in his life, Ritsu eventually found that Teruki was the only person he could actually talk to.

"Did something happen with Shou-kun?"

At the mention of Suzuki Shou's name, he dropped his gaze again, distracting himself by stirring the cup of coffee in his hand over and over. "Why would you think so?" He should be able to tell Teruki. It's not like that's the first time he sought advice regarding him and Shou. Yet, why was his lips sealed tightly?

"I just can tell." Teruki leaned forward, resting his chin on his palm. His blue eyes stared straight at Ritsu, as if looking through every bit of him.

He chuckled, trying to drive the conversation elsewhere. "How do you know? Did you do that with your psychic power?"

Teruki laughed as well. "I can't do that. Kageyama-kun might be able to, though." But he wasn't swayed. He smiled and changed his approach, going right to the point. "So, why did you break up?"

Ritsu was at loss of words, and that's how he finally admitted defeat. It was the fact that he couldn't deny it that gave him away. It wouldn't be wise to continue playing dumb anymore. With a sigh, he uttered. "I really can't beat you, Teru-san…"

"Your little tricks may work on Kageyama-kun, but not me." The blond proudly said. "Now, spill the bean!"

True, he and Shou had not been seeing each other for a while, but Ritsu wasn't sure if they have broken up. Were they even dating in the first place? Shou wasn't the type to put a name or label in a relationship. In that aspect, Ritsu doesn't really mind either way, so he had never bring it up. He thought it was fine the way it is.

Their first encounter was at the age of 13, under a really bizarre situation. The next meeting was, undoubtedly, another disaster. It was laughable how they hit it off as friends afterwards. They were pretty much inseparable since then. Falling in love, that's a pretty way of putting it. The truth is, they simply couldn't found other people like one another. They settled with that because it's comfortable.

Safe sex, commitment, in-laws problem, and so on. There were none of those troublesome things to worry about. They could just stay in each other's arm or leave anytime. Not bound, no restriction. That's right. Ritsu had known that he would see this day coming when they first moved in together. There should be no hard feelings, because they never made a promise to each other about anything. None, in the whole 8 years of their relationship.

When they entered the same university, Shou was overjoyed, saying they could meet more often. Ritsu celebrated it too secretly. No matter what he said, he did enjoy that man's company. However, reality wasn't as kind. Those were, ironically, the time when they started drifting apart.

"And why is that?"

"Teru-san, you really don't hold back, do you?"

Teruki straightened his back, fixing his sitting position. "Well, your brother sent me all the way here. I have to report back that the mission's accomplished, right?"

A brow was raised at that, but he quickly nodded in understanding. "Ah, as I thought. It's Nii-san."

"You could at least call him."

"I do. I always do." Ritsu averted his eyes to anywhere around the coffee shop except Teruki. "I've been busy recently is all." And he finished it with a faint smile that he clearly knew wouldn't fool his opponent. "Please tell him to not be worried."

Teruki caught the sign. He hesitated for a bit before giving in. "Alright, I'll keep quiet about it. But Kageyama-kun isn't the only one worried here. I still want to hear the rest of it."

A prickle of sweat rolled down Ritsu's forehead. Maybe it had been a grave mistake of him to consult to Hanazawa Teruki about his problems in the first place. He couldn't ever shake off the guy easily.

* * *

The sky had turned orange when Ritsu walked back to his apartment one day. His eyes were glued to the shadow of himself on the ground, growing longer and longer with every step he took. That reminded him of when they went to look for a room to rent together. Shou insisted that he wanted it to face east instead of west. He hated the sunset.

"_It's like an alarm. It's telling me that today's gonna be over already. And my time with Ritsu is running out."_

He would say that as his gaze fell dejectedly, before smiling again and pretend everything's alright. Ritsu never knew what to respond to that. He could only think to himself how it's a shame. Shou hated it, but he, in contrast liked the sunset because its warm colour resembled Shou's hair. It gave him a sense of relief whenever he looks at it.

Ritsu entered the building, checked the mailbox, and headed to the elevator. As he pressed the up button and waited, he suddenly had the urge to leave. He didn't want to go up and get inside his apartment. No one would be there anyway_._ There won't be a person waiting for him, nor a trace of someone else living there besides him. He stood there, debated with himself for what felt like forever. Then the elevator door opened, startling him, but he got in anyway.

Now that he's inside, there was nowhere to run anymore. Maybe it was foolish of him to want to run away in the first place. Where would he run to? What good does it do? Look, he was able to get in without trouble. His own apartment won't scare him, he though. Unfortunately, the truth wasn't so. As Ritsu rolled up his eyes, he saw his reflection on the stainless steel door. He could imagine Shou standing there to, right next to him. Once the door closed, he would steal a kiss from him. Ritsu would pretend he's mad and Shou would pull him into a hug as he laughed.

Those stupid little things that couples do were once their everyday life. A smile was tugging at the corner of his mouth, but it instantly disappeared. They're nothing but memories now. When he reached his floor, the door parted, separating the Shou and him in his imagination. Ritsu walked out, head hanging low.

The inside of his house was exactly as he expected. It hadn't changed for the past 2 weeks. The empty space in the shoe rack was still empty. The game console under the TV was still nowhere to be seen. There were no dirty dishes piling up, no unwashed laundry, no messy bathroom sink. Most importantly, there was no sign of a tired Shou sprawling on the bed, fast asleep.

Ritsu dropped his bag on the floor, climbing up the queen sized bed they used to share. He collapsed there and winced. _Of course, there was no lingering scent of Shou anymore._

It had only been a mere 2 weeks. They used to be apart much longer than that. So, he asked himself, what made it so different this time?

* * *

Ritsu woke up in darkness. His eyelids were heavy, tempting him to close them again and continued sleeping. But instead of that, he blinked several times before forcing them to completely open. He sat up and took a look at himself, thinking how nasty he was to fell asleep without even changing his clothes. Like that, he really had no rights to scold Shou.

Footsteps were then heard outside the bedroom. Ritsu was instantly alerted. Who could that be? A thief? An intruder? Or… did he come back?

His body moved faster than his head could think. By the time he realized it, he was already at the edge of the door, hand at the doorknob. Though, at the last minute, he came back to his senses. He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath. He almost lost his cool there. What? Was he really that excited to see Shou again? What would he do if it really was a thief and he messed up? Even if it really was Shou, it doesn't automatically mean anything.

With those in mind, he pulled open the door as quietly as possible. Head poking out first to check the situation, he then came out after confirming the hallway was empty. Some rustling sound was heard from the living room. It was pretty loud and unhurried, didn't seem like the doing of thieves. As his feet brought him closer to the light at the end of the hallway, his heartbeat rose. Somewhere within his heart, he was clearly hoping to see a familiar face. He knew because he's desperately eliminating the possibility of having an intruder there.

Then, there it was. A flock of orange hair perked up from behind the TV shelf. Somehow, it happened as he wished and precisely because of that, he was thrown off guard. All of a sudden, he didn't know what to do or say. The next thing he knew, he blurted out something he didn't mean.

"Didn't you say you're not coming back?"

The man crouching at the shelf froze there. He looked up, his pair of blue green eyes met Ritsu's for the first time in a while. They said nothing, only staring at each other in an uncomfortable silence, as if competing which one of them would avert their gazes first. Shou gave in, in the end. He continued doing what he left off, rummaging through the shelf and taking whatever he needed.

"No need to be so hostile. I just forgot some stuff." said him, monotonously.

Ritsu could felt his heart wrenching. That voice, which had only been speaking sweetly to him for the past years, expressed nothing in their first exchange since Shou moved out. Upon noticing his fingers curling into a fist, he hid them by folding his arm in front of his chest. Frustrated, again, he let his mouth ran as it pleased. "Yeah? Then hurry get out of here when you're done."

Shou rolled his eyes at that, but Ritsu ignored him. Though, inside, he already regretted what he thoughtlessly said. The other man stood up swiftly and grabbed his bag on the sofa. "I don't need you to tell me that." He stomped away, without looking back, and a hint of anger in his voice this time.

Pathetic, he figured, but as small of an emotion as that in his words was actually making Ritsu feeling better. Ache, however, followed in his chest soon. He wondered why now of all time. Why is it hurting more now than when Shou left their home 2 weeks ago? Somewhere in his heart, he knew the answer already. He had tasted loneliness and the thought of feeling it again from then on was unbearably painful.

The sight of Shou walking towards the door, about to leave him once again, was pure horror. As he watched his broad back getting further away, everything was as though in slow motion. Ritsu raised his hand. His mouth opened to yell, "Don't go!" with all his might. At that time, had he voiced out his wish, maybe Shou would have turned back and ran to him. Yet, he didn't do anything. His voice didn't come out, leaving his mouth hanging open. When he felt a damp sensation on his cheek, he was finally knocked back to reality. Tears were shed and Shou had long left. The man he loves was out of his reach now.

* * *

Suzuki Shou was probably involved with the mafia. It was unclear when it started, but since high school, he'd always been coming back and forth from overseas. He told Ritsu nothing about it. Hence, Ritsu didn't ask either. He didn't feel like he could poke his nose into it. Sometimes, they wouldn't meet for a month or more. The short period of time they could be together, they cherished it a lot. That was probably why their relationship lasted so long.

However, everything would come to an end eventually. Ritsu questioned him once when they were sophomores in college. That was the first and the last. He had always had an idea what Shou was up to in the time he wasn't by his side. But that day, his emotion burst out and he couldn't pretend anymore. They got into a huge fight afterwards. Ritsu didn't realize it himself, but it scared him a good deal. He knew that if he found out, he would lose Shou. For that, Ritsu gave up digging into it because, then, he would rather stay clueless and have that man by his side.

They made up and never had serious fights anymore since then. They moved in together, living happily and enjoying each other's presence. But deep inside, Ritsu knew it was all but temporary. He knew he was turning a blind eye against ton of odd things around Shou he didn't know about. And he hated doing it. Shou would often say something along the line of _"I wish this moment would last forever." _It sounded like his usual romantic lines he would throw to Ritsu every now and then. But he knew the true meaning of those words.

There's a time limit to how long they could be together. When that time comes, Shou would unquestionably leave him. By the time Ritsu noticed that, he had been preparing himself for the day. Knowing their relationship wouldn't last anyway, at one point, he started being denial. Telling himself that everything would be alright since there's no such a beautiful thing as love between them, it was an attempt to lessen the pain he harboured. He was truly an idiot to choose to do all those instead of separating from that man sooner than later.

"Shou dropped out of college right before graduating." Ritsu said, nearing the end of his story. "We got into another fight because of that and he didn't come home for a few months."

"Did you make up afterwards?"

"The thing is… we didn't." The raven-haired lifted his arms on the table, resting his forehead against his fists. He exhaled, continuing. "After every fight, or every time he comes back from god-knows-where, we would act like nothing happened and be all lovey-dovey like usual. I know it's wrong, but we just kept doing it. I was getting tired of all the acts."

Teruki leaned back on his seat, finally getting the full picture of the problem between Ritsu and Shou. "Ah, I see… so you decided to confront him and it dealt a final blow?"

At that, Ritsu smiled bitterly. "I wonder if it was me. Maybe it was just around the 'time limit' and he decided to end it altogether."

"Do you really think so?"

A frown on Ritsu's forehead. "Well, if not then why would he move out just like that? He could have used his usual pattern and—"

"Not that." Teruki cut him off. His deep blue eyes glinting softly as he looked at the younger man. "Otouto-kun, do you really think Shou-kun is that cold-hearted?"

"What…?"

"Do you truly think there is no love between the two of you?"

"There's no way there is, right?"

"Have you ever asked him about that?"

"Well, no, but…"

Teruki chuckled lightly. "Sounds like you're not so sure, huh?"

Ritsu said nothing in return, simply putting on a perplexed face. How was he unsure, he wondered. It was as though Teruki was implying that he had been wrong all this time. Even if his feelings were genuine, their relationship wouldn't work because it's completely one-sided. That's what he had collected and accepted so far. If that's not true, then why would they break up? Why would things turn out like that? Why would Shou leave him?

The blond man sipped his coffee one last time and stood up. Ritsu looked up to his gentle smile as he said, before getting ready to leave. "Let's make that your little homework, shall we?"

"Eh, Teru-san, are you leaving?" The younger of the two rose up from his seat as well.

"Yep, there's someone else I'm meeting up with, you see."

"Oh, is that so? I'm sorry for taking up your time…!"

"No, no, it's alright. I'm just doing a friend's favour after all." He waved his hand, adding with a softer tone. "Also, I'm glad you relied on me. Thank you."

Before those earnest words, Ritsu looked down in half embarrassment and moved, while the other half thinking how Teruki basically forced him to tell everything so he really had no choice. "No, thanks for listening to me on the contrary…"

"It's a pleasure~" A brief pause befell them then Teruki turned around. "I hope you find your answer. And don't hesitate to contact me if anything's up, okay?"

"Yes, thank you…"

The older man glanced at the coffee shop's entrance and raised an eyebrow. "I should be leaving soon. Goodbye then, Otouto-kun!"

Ritsu waved at the other in return while sitting back down. His eyes followed the figure of Teruki exiting the shop. Truthfully, he didn't know if they, the Kageyama brothers, were close to Teruki or not. His brother aside, Ritsu was barely familiar with that man's private life. Ever since middle school, his attitude and action toward anything extraordinary was very straight-forward, yet mature and composed. It was as if those things would not faze him, he had seen worse and none was on par.

However, this time was a little different. Teruki listened to and digested his story calmly. He's quick-witted in the first place, but something was just unsettling. He acted around Ritsu's matter really carefully and pinpointed what seemed to be problem like… he's experienced similar things before. What would that mean? Had he been involved with mafias before? Or someone he knows did?

In the midst of thinking, Ritsu caught sight of a tall, black-haired man outside of the shop approaching Teruki. The blond man walked to him in response and they exchanged words for a bit. It turned to a mini argument before the man pecked a kiss on Teruki's cheek and his lip curled into a smirk. At that, Ritsu turned away at once. All of a sudden, he felt that he's better off not knowing too much about Teruki's private matter.

* * *

In the gloom of the narrow alleyway surrounded by towering buildings, lit by none other than desperate light oozing from a few incandescent lamps, it was extremely easy to dishearten even the most confident person. Although Kageyama Ritsu wouldn't call himself undaunted, he would always come prepared at least. He was never the type to charge into the unknown without any calculation up his sleeves. Upon arriving at his destination, however, he began to waver.

Standing tall in front of him was a door to where he could find Shou. He had visited Fukuda, one of the men that claimed Shou as their leader even if the terrorist organisation, Claw had long been disbanded. Ritsu had gone directly to the healing power user, knowing he was the most caring and soft-hearted among the three subordinates. After many pleadings and pulling the last straw of lying about how the other two wouldn't tell him anything, Fukuda finally opened up. So there Ritsu was, at the location he was directed to.

It had been nearly a month since he and Shou parted ways. Locking himself in that apartment far too spacious for one person wasn't going to help him find his answer. He thought hard about Teruki's words and at long last, came to a conclusion that he had to talk with Shou once more. The place, time, and situation won't matter much. All he needed was for that guy to take him seriously, and for himself to remain composed. Surprisingly enough, Ritsu found the latter to be more difficult.

He had fallen into that hole of despair called love much deeper than expected. It's suffocating, he realized, to be imprisoned in this circle of grief. It's tiring. He wanted free from the loop of getting up in the morning, missing the figure of another man by his side, showered in the endless series of bittersweet memories, and by the end of the day, left with nothing but questions of whether what happened between them was real.

Perhaps, Ritsu was wrong the whole time. Shou does love him after all. He had a legit reason to keep him away. He doesn't want to hurt him unless he had to. He doesn't have to leave him unless it was necessary. Perhaps, Ritsu just wanted to cling on to that hope.

The door creaked open without a warning then. Shocked, Ritsu looked up instantly to be welcomed by a bunch of unfamiliar faces. There were 5-6 men with huge physiques who seemed to be the type of good-for-nothings that would bully his brother in middle school. Even judging from appearances, they were most likely the kind of people Ritsu hated the most. And it's proven to be true soon.

"Huh? Who the hell are you?" said one of them.

"What are you doing here?"

Ritsu only kept his mouth shut, quickly thinking what he could do to get past those guys without much trouble. Though, it pissed them off instead.

"Hey, are you listening?"

"Are you deaf, huh?!" The first guy reached out his hand to grab his shoulder, only to miss it and fell flat on his face.

The rest watched in confusion, failing to catch the moment when Ritsu used his psychic power to slightly move the guy away from him. Without even thinking, they were fast to assume it was some cheap tricks of Ritsu and began to try attacking the raven-haired.

"What did you do, you freak?!" One threw a punch and ended in the same state as the first guy. Another tried too from behind, so this time Ritsu had too tilt away to dodge. He used his power merely to evade and defence, lifting not even a finger against them. There was no need to make a scene there. However, he lost a bit of his cool when one of those men caught him.

"Don't get so full of yourselves, pretty boy!" A brawny hand arrived on his shoulder, yanking him backwards, but was stopped just before it succeeded in making Ritsu fell on his ass. The poor man looked to the slender hand stopping his burly one. It was none other than Ritsu's himself, and along with that, he began emitting a petrifying aura.

"Get your filthy hand off me!" It came out nearly like a whisper, except it's filled with what resembled death threat. The man trembled in fear even before his mind could process what was going on. His body turned rigid that he couldn't release his hold on Ritsu. And if he didn't, his instinct was telling him he would be bitten to death by the fang of a seemingly harmless creature. Luckily enough, his dear life was saved later by the appearance of a certain person.

"Get out of the way!"

Everyone turned to the voice and began making way. At that moment, Ritsu's grip loosened considerably, allowing the man twice his size to have a narrow escape. As the crowd that had somehow gathered around the door split in half, he could finally see that person he came all the way for. A young man walked out slowly, hands in his pocket, lifting his chin up high. It's Suzuki Shou.

They locked gaze, each putting on expressionless faces. It didn't take long, though, for Shou to whip out a smug smile and commented. "Oh, ain't that Ritsu?"

"Suzuki…" He uttered, but his mind was in blank state. It was a really complicated feeling to be welcomed like that, like him being there was amusing and no more than that.

"Well, what are you doing here? No way are you getting lost all the way here, right?" He snickered, followed by soft laughter from the crowd around them.

"Leader, is that brat your acquaintance?" asked one of the men that charged at Ritsu in panic. "We're sorry, we didn't know!"

Shou batted an eye to them then back to Ritsu. Looking straight at him, he shrugged and answered casually. "Nah, not really? We just kind of know each other."

The raven-haired furrowed his eyebrows at that, blatantly showing how bothered he was. That's bad, he initially thought. The possibility of him keeping calm to the end was growing weaker. He couldn't with Shou fanning on his emotion purposely like that.

"What's this? Are you guys fighting? In my turf?" said Shou after observing some of his men with scratch and dirt all over them, while Ritsu was in perfect shape. "And you're losing?"

"It's that brat! He used some weird tricks!" reported those fools. "Get him please, leader!" came another fool.

In response to their pathetic pleads, Shou laughed blandly. Covering part of his face with one hand, he glared at them menacingly. "Don't joke with me. You picked a fight with just Ritsu, yet you can't even win. Shouldn't you reflect on your incompetence a little? Or should I make you to?"

Those lackeys flinched in fear, profusely apologizing and scurried away in a flash when they were asked to get lost. Ritsu stayed there, stunned. The Shou he knew, the one with dazzling smile and playful tone in his voice was no longer there. No, more like, he had gone back to the Shou went they first met. It's painful to watch. All at once, he felt as though his hopeful determination he brought with him all crumbled. No good. His words won't reach him.

"So?"

Ritsu snapped back to reality, noticing they were finally left alone.

"What's the big deal? Coming all the way here, you even used your power."

That remark, somehow, irked him so much that he forgot his negative thoughts. Still, he had lost his composed, rational side. "Funny for you to say that." He started, with a spit of mockery in his voice. "What about you?"

"…?"

"What are you doing there? Turf? Leader? I thought you're done with that kind of lifestyle?"

"…It's none of your business."

"Oh, yeah? Because we 'just kind of know each other'?"

Shou looked at him, quite pissed. "What do you want to say?"

"What do you think?"

Ruffling his orange hair in annoyance, Shou sighed. "Are you actually that free to come and just talked about some nonsense with me?"

"Nonsense?" Ritsu repeated, sounding deeply offended. What he spent day after day thinking about, worrying his brother and others, driving him crazy, drowning in sadness, was just something insignificant to Shou? "Do you really think this is nonsense?"

Noticing the change in his tone, Shou couldn't help but frown in confusion. "Ritsu…?"

"Don't call…" He mumbled, before raising his voice and clutched onto Shou's collar. "Don't call my name if it's meaningless to you! It's irritating! I don't know what you're thinking and what you desire! Is this what you want? Are you happy with your life now? What about me? Am I just a plaything for you all this time? Why did you leave me?"

Shou looked at him with an unclear emotion. He had no answer to any of his questions. "What does it matter?" He replied after a pause, prying Ritsu's hands off him. "I had decided I don't need you in my life now. That's all there is to it."

Some girl then came out from the building behind Shou and instantly clung to his arm, intimately pressing her breasts against him. With a made-up cute voice, she whined, interrupting them. "Hey, Shou-kun~ Are you not done yet? Come back inside~"

Ritsu rolled his eyes to her, staring with obvious venom. Unconsciously, he was thinking to himself that was his spot. He was the one supposed to be by Shou's side. How he wish he could take that arm and keep him away from that bitch's claws. But he had no right to. Even if he did do so right there and then, Shou would not go anywhere with him.

"If that's all you're coming here for, then you should go back. This place isn't for you, Ritsu."

That was it. That was the final sign telling him he had no more place in Shou's life. There's nothing he wanted to do more than turning away and leave that rotten place as well, even so he refused to back down yet. It's useless, he was aware, but he wanted one more chance. Just one last chance.

"Suzuki," he said after a deep breath, in the calmest voice he had let out that day, with the softest expression he could manage. "are you not coming back to me ever again?"

It was that kind of straightforward question he never would have thought of pulling out under normal circumstance.

"No. I said that already, didn't I?"

How ironic, how unfair it is that those blue green eyes were still as beautiful as he remembered even in that situation. Though, looking at them only brought more pain to his already bleeding invisible wound. "I see." Ritsu's gaze dropped slowly and he walked away, never looking back again.

The wind was blowing strongly that night, enough to chill one to the bones. The raven-haired pulled his coat closer to his body, taking one step at a time that was heavier than another. The heat on his face, the warm liquid flowing down his eyes turned cold in the count of seconds. Even then, he had no choice but to move forward in that lonely street. That's the end. There was nothing he could do but learn to live in the world without Suzuki Shou from then on.

* * *

**I wanted this to be a oneshot since I've never made something with sad ending before**  
**but I can't bear to see my son sad ;-;**  
**so im prolly gonna make a sequel to it**

**anyway, thanks for reading~**  
**feedback please?**


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